London Calling
Entertaining but Empty Buddy Film
In the opening scene of London Calling, we’re introduced to Tommy Ward (Josh Duhamel), a London-based hitman on a job at a nightclub where everyone is in costume. His mission is to find and kill a man in a horse mask, which he quickly does; however, this man isn’t actually wearing a horse mask, he’s wearing a donkey mask. Thanks to Tommy’s refusal to visit the optometrist (a recurring joke that doesn’t pay off as expected), he’s just accidentally shot crime boss Freddy Darby’s (Aiden Gillen) wife’s cousin. To escape Darby’s wrath, Tommy goes on the run, ending up in L.A. But Tommy longs to return to London to see his son, especially now that his ex is engaged to a P.E. teacher Tommy considers “an idiot.”
Despite the close call with death and the obvious signs that he might be getting too old for this job, Tommy finds work with a new crime boss, Benson (Rick Hoffman), in California. In an effort to turn his “stupid loser” of a son (“stupid loser” here means he prefers cosplay and video games to real violence), Benson bribes Tommy to take his son Julian (Jeremy Ray Taylor) as an apprentice on his latest assignment: to find and kill the infamous hitman Alistair McRory (Neil Sandilands). With Tommy struggling with his estrangement from his son and Julian trying to impress his dad, director Allan Ungar sets the scene perfectly for a coming-of-age buddy film. Unfortunately, the film relies heavily on overused action movie cliches, which bog down its sentimental aspects.
Tommy and Julian are genuinely likable characters, bringing humor and enough emotional depth to make the audience root for them even when they’re burying bodies. However, Ungar doesn’t fully utilize Duhamel and Taylor’s talents to elevate the film. He and co-writers Omer Levin Menekse and Quinn Wolfe seem more focused on delivering a fun, shoot-out-filled adventure than exploring the deeper relationship struggles of Tommy and Julian. While parts of the movie are genuinely fun, the overall message feels shallow, making it hard to overlook.
One of the most frustrating aspects of the film is the sheer number of villains introduced. From Gillen’s stereotypical British crime boss to the unkillable McRory (unfortunately, no amount of “why won’t this guy die” jokes can make this gag funny), to the villainous, scheming Benson, and even Tommy’s ex’s fiancé. It feels like Tommy can’t catch a break, and this seems mainly designed to keep the action moving.
London Calling appears unsure of what it wants to be. It’s just entertaining enough to keep viewers engaged through its nearly two-hour runtime, but it never quite rises above the clichés it relies on. What could have been a meaningful and fun buddy film about father/son relationships and what it means to be a man ultimately falls short, leaving the sense that something is missing by the end.
